Monday, September 28, 2009

Making My Grass Greener

I just finished a book yesterday that has me thinking. Unbeknownst to me, it was, in a way, a marriage improvement book. No big deal-I'm all about improving marriages. This last year Jarum and I have been working extra hard at making our marriage rock solid. Like everyone, we have a ways to go, but we've come really far, and things are going really well. So well, in fact, that I tend to get the whole "All is well in Zion" attitude. Which leads to more slacking and less working. Because let's face it-marriage is work.

Anyway, back to my book. There was a quote in there that I'd like to get printed on a large poster and hang it above my bed, so it's the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I see in the morning. (Don't act like none of you had a Backstreet poster up when you were younger. I'm totally admitting to that.) So here's the quote.

The grass isn't greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it.

Whoa. My favorite thing about it-it's from some guy named Mel from a sprinkler company! So profound. And it made me think-am I watering my marriage? Do I ever compare my marriage, or even my husband, to others? At times I do. And then I thought about the things I could improve on. I think I'm critical of Jarum, without really meaning to. So I asked him if he thought I criticized him too much. "Nope", he replied. "Really?" I asked. "What about that time you got Chase ready for church and I didn't like the outfit you put on him?" He thought for a minute. "That didn't bother me though." Ya, I thought. But it bothers me. Isn't it more important that he was helping me out on a crazy Sunday? Does my son HAVE to match? I should've handled that different. I have a lot to work on.

It's a pretty personal topic, but I share it in hopes that others feel the same. And maybe it's something that I can work on with others. Like dieting, ya know? It's easier with a friend. The book had a great idea of having "Marriage Celebration" clubs-like a book club, only you share ideas, tips, and accomplishments in your married life. Maybe I'll start one. Because I really have a great husband. Open invitation, girls, who's in?