Monday, September 28, 2009

Making My Grass Greener

I just finished a book yesterday that has me thinking. Unbeknownst to me, it was, in a way, a marriage improvement book. No big deal-I'm all about improving marriages. This last year Jarum and I have been working extra hard at making our marriage rock solid. Like everyone, we have a ways to go, but we've come really far, and things are going really well. So well, in fact, that I tend to get the whole "All is well in Zion" attitude. Which leads to more slacking and less working. Because let's face it-marriage is work.

Anyway, back to my book. There was a quote in there that I'd like to get printed on a large poster and hang it above my bed, so it's the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I see in the morning. (Don't act like none of you had a Backstreet poster up when you were younger. I'm totally admitting to that.) So here's the quote.

The grass isn't greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it.

Whoa. My favorite thing about it-it's from some guy named Mel from a sprinkler company! So profound. And it made me think-am I watering my marriage? Do I ever compare my marriage, or even my husband, to others? At times I do. And then I thought about the things I could improve on. I think I'm critical of Jarum, without really meaning to. So I asked him if he thought I criticized him too much. "Nope", he replied. "Really?" I asked. "What about that time you got Chase ready for church and I didn't like the outfit you put on him?" He thought for a minute. "That didn't bother me though." Ya, I thought. But it bothers me. Isn't it more important that he was helping me out on a crazy Sunday? Does my son HAVE to match? I should've handled that different. I have a lot to work on.

It's a pretty personal topic, but I share it in hopes that others feel the same. And maybe it's something that I can work on with others. Like dieting, ya know? It's easier with a friend. The book had a great idea of having "Marriage Celebration" clubs-like a book club, only you share ideas, tips, and accomplishments in your married life. Maybe I'll start one. Because I really have a great husband. Open invitation, girls, who's in?

7 comments:

Kierstin said...

I completely agree. I notice that when Reed and I aren't spending time talking or at least keeping in some contact throughout the day, we become numb to each other and forget to really 'feel' our relationship. We just end up going through the motions... which is sad. I have SO much to work on. I wish I could say that I am really good at not holding grudges, but I totally suck at it. I get mad and move on without dealing with it and it festers. I need to deal with the issue and then wash it out of my soul. I think you're great, thanks for the reminder to 'water' my marriage more often :)

Andrea said...

I totally love the separate blog idea. Brilliant I tell you. I also publish my random thoughts and family memories, and it would be nice to have a separate blog with those types of posts as well. And those cinnamon rolls are calling my name....YUM!!

The Hiller Family said...

I'm in!
Great thoughts!!
I am the same way about husband getting kids ready! The littlest things like that really matter to me too and yet, they don't matter in the end because the kid will most likely get the matched, or unmatched outfit dirty anyway!! Might as well NOT match to start with and keep the "Good" outfit clean, right!?? :)

Jamie said...

What a fun new blog to check! And those cinnamon rolls looks so yummy-you little domestic one!

The Donigans said...

Love it.

BTW, my poster was Karl Malone, not Back Street Boys.:)

Lisa Sprague said...

I just love you Brooke! You are so witty and fun to be around and I love what you have to say. Have we not all been there when the husband puts the boy in brown pants with a totally unmatching, wrinkled shirt with bright blue socks and black church shoes? Ok, maybe that's just Brady that would do the bright blue socks with any outfit. But, I have been that wife that criticizes the help and I did feel horrible when it was brought to my attention. So, when you see the boys lookin' kind of questionable on Sunday, just laugh and know that I've realized that it's not that big of a deal. Aliya is off limits for Brady on Sunday though. Only because I cherish the times I get to do her hair and put adorable dresses on her and do the "girl stuff". And I would love to do a book club with you! It would be so fun to chat about thought provoking books!

Bruce and Mitzi said...

I love that! Your posts are always so fun to read, and I love the marriage celebration club idea. I'm so in! I love that quote too.