Monday, November 22, 2010

Dora: And Why I Despise Her

Isn't that a cheery title? This blog is sadly forsaken, and for no good reason, other than sheer laziness. As I have explained to others, this is the blog that is just for ME and my love affair with writing. So naturally it's my favorite one to write for. I even think in blog posts for this blog. But when it comes down to it, the hour it takes to write a simple post becomes too time consuming and I end up. But I have a quiet moment to myself right now-and I'm turning 30 in the next couple days, (gasp!) so it's high time I set some new goals for my next 30 years and put more effort into this blog. Aaaaannnnd back to my title.

Last week a friend of mine and I were discussing our pregnancies-my 3rd and her 1st. During said conversation she said, "I know one thing-my kids will NOT be allowed to watch Dora. I can't stand her." My response was, "Good luck with that!" but I must admit I sympathize with her. Let me explain.

First of all, let's get all the physical complaints out of the way. I realize the shallowness of these statements, but say them I will. Her head is entirely too large. Her cousin Diego's head is a normal shape, I don't understand why Dora got stuck with the massive noggin. And for crying out loud, who gives a girl a bowl cut? Plus her shirt is too short. I don't care where you get your clothes-if I see something cute at Walmart I'm not ashamed to buy it, but I do make an effort to BUY THE CORRECT SIZE. Someone needs to break the news to the kid-she's not a 4T anymore. I'm just saying. Moving on.

She's always shouting at me and my children. I'm not sure why she does this-maybe her parents have never taught her the correct way to speak to others. Maybe she thinks we're all suffering from poor hearing, or since she's bi-lingual, maybe we're below her on the education scale. Whatever the reason, I don't like it and it needs to stop.

And finally-I'm not too crazy about her friends. First there's Benny. He obviously has a smoking problem at his young age, the poor kid sounds like a 68 year old woman from Vegas. And he dumpster dives. That's gross. And THEN! There's Boots. The monkey version of Eddie Haskell from Leave it To Beaver. Or Kimmy Gibler from Full House. When Dora's twin siblings were born, he bragged about being a "Big Monkey Brother". Dude, you have your own family. And I'm assuming they're a good family, because they came and supported you during your ridiculous pirate play and they even cheered at the end. But even that doesn't top my least favorite character-the grumpy old troll. Ugh. Don't even get me started. If only his song wouldn't get stuck in my head...

So there you have it. The sad thing about all of this is, I've seen most of her episodes and all of her "movies".

Who has two thumbs and has been conned by Dora the Explorer? This gal. xo


Jules and Wes said...

HA- I love it! As you know, we have no kiddies so I can't fully relate to Dora on a scale that pertains to the better welfare of children, but I can say that I LOVE Dora and that she makes my life better! Her shows are so entertaining and I think its very educational. I am sure when we start our little family things will change, but until then, I'll at least keep watching her.

ps-i totally agree with her "sputnik" head. I have wondered why its abnormally large too...

Hope all is well! Can't wait to see you guys in another 2 weeks!


Makell said...

You had me at 4T! Lol at the doctor's office this morning:)

The Smoots said...

I think you were a writer in your life before this. HILARIOUS!

Oh and you should write your a genius. Love you!